Art in the form of Theatre

Art-making has always been my passion and it was evident since I was young. I remember writing short stories and comics when I was a child. I’d also draw my stories’ front covers so it would look like a book and then I’ll go to the front of our house, place my works and try to sell them P5.00 per “book.” It was disappointing no one had come to buy or check them out. Growing up, I try to explore art in many of its forms such as writing poetry and scripts, playing musical instruments, painting, and digital art. But theatre is what I find to be my favorite of all. I consider myself an explorative artist and theatre gave me many doors of exploration and growth. Discovering its ins and outs and the process of art-making has been challenging, but it is these challenges why it is interesting. You don’t only learn the technicalities, you learn deeper things. Theatre is a reflection of society and life, and while learning this craft, I get to also learn more things outside this art form. I also learned things about myself, understanding what kind of person I am, and what I want to be. With theatre, you get to create this whole new world and you also get the chance to be inside the shoes of another being. Theatre isn’t just about acting, you go and recognize yourself to the world you are living in and make yourself aware and present by being in the moment.

Behind a Performance

Outputs are always rejoiced by the people. The performance on stage is what the audience clap for. But in every output, there are inputs and processes. What we in the production and artistic team rejoiced to is the effort and time that we put into creating the performance. All those sleepless nights memorizing lines and marketing the play, misunderstandings towards one another in building rapports and playing the directions, and reaching deadlines as much as we can are challenges that will be missed once the production is done. It’s so stressful and it triggers a lot of emotional and mental breakdown sessions especially as a student artist that you also try to excel in your academics. But no matter how difficult the process is, the lessons, experiences, and memories come back 10 times more.

Sacrifices are also made along the process, may it be taking away time and opportunities to hang out with friends or attending classes. I admit, there were times that I chose to do theatre work than academic works that affected my grades and I still can’t say that it was right. But these experiences have an impact on me that I keep in living my life. I try my best to learn as much as I can. Another sacrifice that I never expected I’d do was bleaching and dyeing my hair. I’m the type of person who is very insecure about how I look and changing my hairstyle was a big step for me. We were in a rush so we bleached our hair 3 times in a span of a week and do you know what it does to your hair? It kills. My hair looked like soggy noodles and every bleaching session felt like hell. You’d think that the bleach is like acid that’s going through your scalp then to your skull and head over to your brain to kill you, but of course, I am just exaggerating all of these. After coloring my hair, I eventually chopped it off for my next role.

Talk about Crafts

Theatre made me an actor, sound designer, playwright, director, marketing manager, and production manager, and every role has a different impact on me.

I remember the first production that I acted in. I portrayed a call center agent who has depression. Looking back at those times, I remember the process that I went through to justify the character. Trying to portray her also means learning and living her life as much as I can understand. Having a depressed character also made me feel depressed in real life. I was always down and didn’t have energy at all. The character was so powerful that I remember standing in the middle of the streets not caring if a car would hit me. I also remember trying to cut myself. My mentor at that time contacted me and tried to calm me down and break out of character. The mind really works in wonders and how strong it can affect your whole being.

I try to create as much as I can and give to the community. My craft is my greatest commitment in life and this could be represented in various forms as long as my intentions and objectives are clear.

Center Stage

In my 2 years in PUP, I have been a part of 9 theatrical productions and acted on 3 of them. I still remember the nervousness and fear whenever I’m about to enter the stage, but once you got there, it would be like you’re a whole new different person in a whole new different world. And it’s not just you there, you have your co-actors that are also portraying another. They aren’t your real-life friends anymore, on stage, they are your character’s people in life and that is one of the factors that make the illusion real. Together with the lights projected on stage, the sounds that build up the atmosphere, the set that helps to establish the world that we try to create, all of these elements are in complete harmony. But the most important thing is our intentions on why we are doing this. When the message or lesson that we need to deliver is received by the audience, this is when we know everything is in place. We do this for the people and for the arts and try our best to be the voices of those who are voiceless. We scream for those who cannot scream nor be heard.

Taking a Bow

Of course, everything has its end such as this blog or write up that is about to end. Reminiscing on the times that I took a bow after every performance makes me teary-eyed. I still remember the feeling of appreciation and validation of our hard works. But after every ending, we must understand that it will always be the start of a new beginning. A whole new process of stressing out and discovering. I remember after a performance, there was this one audience member who looked for me on Facebook and messaged me. She thanked me for portraying the role that I also wrote because she saw herself in the character. These kinds of messages made me realize how important representation is and how all of us, not just artists, play an important role in this world.

Art is amazing and even if there are times that I just want to give up and forget the craft, it’s just me in denial. Every turn or step of going away is also me coming back to my craft. We may have bumpy roads ahead of us that we couldn’t control, but the choice of continuing still remains within us. At least, that, we can control.